


last words

by jodieoswald



Series: thirteenth doctor [12]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 13 is a lesbian lol, Angst, Death, Depressing, F/F, Fluff, Gay, Heavy Angst, LGBTQ, Long-Term Relationship(s), Sad, be ready to cry, gay angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-10 22:40:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16463744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jodieoswald/pseuds/jodieoswald
Summary: you share your last moments with the doctor





	last words

 Your lip trembled as you breathed, tears forcing their way out of your eyes. Your eyes focused themselves on the woman in front of you, analysing every detail of her  _perfect_ face for the last time. Everything around you was drowned out, your entire existence focusing on the woman.

 The woman was the most amazing person you had ever met. From the moment you two found your ways into each other's life, you clicked immediately, spending every possible moment with each other, absorbing one another's existence as much as possible. It was like a light bulb in your mind when you realised you had fallen in love with her, like everything had suddenly made sense, like you'd found the last piece to a jigsaw puzzle. Everything fitted together.

 The fact that you'd find yourself going red when she smiled at you, or the fact that your heart would flutter in your chest whenever she kissed your forehead whilst comforting you or got excited. The fact that no matter where you went, you'd always end up back with her. It all made sense. 

 You were walking back from work the day you both met. It was a cold, foggy night with a breeze weaving its way through you, when you realised you were locked out of your house. You slumped down on your step, when suddenly a wheezing, groaning noise echoed from within the trees. The door opened, and out stepped four people, all chatting happily. The Doctor was one of them. You'd asked what was going on, and they explained like it was nothing. The Doctor invited you to stay with them. The two of you chatted non-stop throughout your first time together, listening to each other's adventures and experiences, content with another's company.

 It wasn't long before the other three left. But you stayed. That was when you realised you loved her - when you realised you'd stick with her even after everyone had left. You fell in love with her creamy blonde hair that caressed her jaw, her eyes that held the secrets of the universe within them, the dimples that showed whenever she smiled. You noticed all of the small details about her, that meant the world to you. It wasn't like you could tell her, though. You knew that from the beginning. So you shoved your attraction into a box deep in your mind, trying your best not to melt whenever she did anything that was remotely cute (which was extremely difficult, as you'd grown to be attracted to  _anything_ she did). Shoving it away didn't help in the slightest, rather leading to endless nights filled with crying silently.

 After a year, you'd been to planets bigger than you could even comprehend. It was extraordinary and you'd never have a chance like that again. You savoured every moment with this amazing woman you were lucky enough to come across. And even with all of these brilliant sights to see, like displays of stars, or mountains bigger than Earth, _she_ was still the most beautiful sight to see. 

 That morning, you were going to finally tell her. That you loved her. But things got out of hand, and it turned out that you'd never be able to show her that love you'd been feeling for so  _goddamn_ long. You'd never be able to kiss her in the mornings after making her breakfast, or hold hands whilst walking in the park. She could never show you her favourite places in the universe so you could go on dates there, she could never make you tea the exact way you want it when you're feeling down. You could never wake up to her beautiful face, strands of blonde hair resting over her gleaming eyes, golden, fresh sunlight complimenting her skin. You could never feel her body against yours, or cuddle her when she's scared, or angry, or sad - or just happy. You could never even feel her lips against yours. All of these opportunities were wiped from existence. Everything you had ever hoped for was gone. With a click of a finger.

 And, now, she was in front of you, her eyes glazing over, her body shaking with fear as she held your hand with all her strength. She looked at you with those deep, colourful eyes you knew all too well, and you pulled a small, sad smile, savouring every second you could spend looking at  _those eyes._

 "Y/N, just, please, stay with me," She choked, letting streams of tears rush down her cheeks. 

 "I never told you Doctor," You forced out.

 "What?" Her face was  _so, so_ sad. All of that emotion she had locked away in her eyes had poured out onto her face along with her tears.

 "I love you," You stuttered, tears escaping your eyes as fast as they could. "I always have, and I always will. I love you," You felt yourself slipping away from existence. "Doctor... I love you..." You held her face in your hand, your thumb stroking her cheek. You gave one last smile, one last breath, one last look at the most beautiful person you'd ever known, and let yourself go.

 The Doctor's mouth was open, her face soaking with tears, like she had a million things to say stuck on the tip of her tongue. But it was too late. 

 You spent the rest of your life with the Doctor - but she couldn't spend the rest of her life with you.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i actually fucking sobbed whilst writing this i-


End file.
